6 Foreplay Tips to Please Her in Bed

 

Foreplay isn’t optional. It’s not something that you can half-ass for two minutes before rushing into P-in-V or P-in-B sex. Foreplay is something you should take your time with to get both your partner and you in the mood. After all, you shouldn’t be feigning excitement or mindlessly going through the motions just for your partner’s sake. Foreplay is something that should turn you on as well.

Honestly, the term foreplay is somewhat of a misnomer because it implies that what comes next—the actual “play”—is somehow better. But that’s not always the case. Most people with vulvas can’t orgasm through penetration alone. They require clitoral stimulation in order to climax, which can happen with manual stimulation, oral sex, or sex toy action.

That said, sex isn’t all about orgasming. The rubbing, touching, kissing, and talking you have before penetrative sex should be enjoyable in and of itself.

Now to get the best foreplay tips, we spoke to various sex experts, therapists, and psychiatrists. Try one, two, or all of the foreplay tips below the next time you start fooling around and just see what happens.

1) Sext throughout the day

Foreplay doesn’t simply start in the bedroom. It can start from the moment you wake up. Little texts like “Can’t wait to get naked with you tonight” can get your partner excited before you even set foot in the same room. If sending nudes is something that turns your partner on, go ahead and swap some sexy photos with one another. Then you can text what you want and plan to do to her naked body. (Head here for more explicit advice on how to sext!)

2) Add some temperature play

Ice cubes and candles that double as massage oil are a fun and easy way to turn up the heat on your foreplay, explains Sofiya Alexandra, co-host of the podcast Private Parts Unknown.

“Hold an ice cube between your teeth and draw it down your partner’s body," Alexandra says. "Or, if you’re more into heat, like me, you can get candles involved—one of my college boyfriends and I used to use just regular soy candles to drip wax on each other for a little BDSM fun,” Alexandra says.

That said, a massage candle is a safer way to dip your toe into wax play if it’s new to you. “Drip high at first to cool the oil down before initial contact with skin, and take your time slowly massaging it in for maximum pleasure," Alexandra says. "You want your partner’s body to buzz like a hive of murder hornets.”

3) Take your time removing articles of clothing

Foreplay is a marathon, not a sprint. You’re in no rush to finish it. (Though if you are pressed for time, here are the best sex position for quickies.) Instead of quickly stripping down, start by taking off her shirt. Wait a few minutes before you take off her pants, then her bra, and so on. You can then focus on that newly revealed body part. So after taking off her pants, massage her legs. Once the bra is gone, you can lick and gently suck on her nipples.

4) Get wet together

If you’ve ever attempted to have sex in the shower or in a body of water, you’ll know that it’s nearly impossible to thrust when your body is submerged in liquid. That’s why Courtney Kocak, co-host of Private Parts Unknown, suggests using the tub as a means of foreplay. “I feel like sexy fantasies that involve candlelit bubble baths or steamy showers are ingrained in us,” Kocak says. “Enjoy stripping down with your partner before you get in—maybe set a playful tone by taking turns underdressing each other.” Just make sure to keep the water hot so you can stay in for a while and really explore the intimacy of touch.

5) Give her a strip tease

In a similar vein, go ahead and give her a little strip tease. (If you need inspiration, you can always check out the SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze auditioning to be Chip ‘n’ Dale dancers.) If you dance poorly, at least you come off as endearing and funny, but if you do in fact strip well, she will want to pounce on you. (Here's how to striptease like a dancer in Magic Mike!)

6) Wear sexy underwear

Sexy undergarments aren’t just for women. If you find the right fit, you can really turn her on. (If you've never tried low-rise briefs, we highly recommend them!)

WRITTEN AND EDITED BY BOYLIKESAZZY

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